Would You Know If Your Child Is Being Bullied?

'But Ken loves his gymnastics. He always has. I just don't understand why he's gone off it. And he's so moody about it too!'

You could almost feel the tension rising. This was the third time Ken had called off, and his Mom was at a loss - especially since a friend's Mom had called to arrange transport.

However, it didn't take her long to discover that Ken was being bullied.

A UK charity, ChildLine, claims that as many as 8 out of 10 kids have been bullied at some time. It's been going on for thousands of years, of course, and it's not only kids who are victims.

But we'll focus on child bullying and look out for tell-tale signs that could mean our kids are being bullied.

SIGNS OF BULLYING

Probably the most common sign of bullying is a reluctance to go to a place or take part in an activity that previously was not a problem. This could be school or a social activity such as Ken's gymnastics class.

This reluctance - or even outright refusal - is often accompanied by signs of fear, like shaking and nervousness, aggressive language, or feeling ill.

The victim may become moody and mope around, sometimes with a sickly complexion and strained demeanour.

There may be other physical or external signs, such as ripped or scuffed clothing, bruising or cuts and scrapes, plus a loss of personal belongings like iPods, cell phones etc.

There may be repeated requests for money or it may even be stolen from wallets and purses, in order to meet the bully's demands for cash.

A decline in school performance is not uncommon, and there may also be a decline in sporting activities or a loss of interest in hobbies that were once all-consuming.

A sign that most parents find very disturbing is a change in mood or 'personality'. Your little boy or girl may be friendly and happy under normal circumstances, but now there is a sadness and anxiety which can be so severe they may not want to go over the door. And any attempts to intervene can be met with uncharacteristic outbursts!

UNDERSTANDING THESE CHANGES

These are all signs that their lives are dominated by fear. And this may be fear of embarrassment at one extreme to fear of death at the other. Your child is using whatever strategies are available to avoid the pain of bullying.

And top of the list is a conviction that telling anyone about it will make it worse. That's why there's a downward spiral, often leading to despair and depression - because the victim can see no escape.

Let's look at the different types of bullying to understand this more.

The experts classify bullying into three categories, all of which can be combined and happen at the same time: verbal, physical and social.

Physical bullying is usually characterized by punching and kicking, but there can also be slapping, hair-pulling and threats with weapons such as blades.

It's often accompanied by stealing or damaging the victim's personal property, such as money, sports equipment or musical instruments.

Verbal bullying is name-calling, insults, and the use of loud or aggressive shouts - all designed to create fear and intimidate the victim.

Social bullying is any of the above forms, but it is when a group picks on one or more victims. This is also known as relational bullying. It can be very harmful indeed when a group of kids decide to ignore or 'ostracize' one of their own.

Strategies you can use to help your child are discussed in a separate article.

This article is simply to alert parents, since often the symptoms of bullying are so obvious they are overlooked.

Just imagine if you were Ken's parent and you put his problems down to the onset of puberty, or thought it was 'just a phase', or a simple change in direction. ('He's outgrown his gymnastics.')

It pays to be aware of even subtle changes in our kids' behavior. That way we can be there to help, just when they thought it was all their fault and didn't know where to turn.

Here's to your success!

Article Source: Free Articles - http://www.articlesworldonline.com

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