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Q. "Sometimes, in the middle of the night, my seven-year-old sits bolt upright, stares straight ahead, and screams at the top of his voice. It sounds like he is being attacked by an axe murderer! We try to comfort him, but he doesn't even know we are there. This goes on for many minutes. Then he goes back to sleep. If we wake him, he seems confused and cannot remember what he was dreaming about." A. Your little boy doesn't remember his dream because he wasn't dreaming. It sounds as if he's experiencing night terrors. Scientists have studied brain wave (EEG) patterns, and concluded that we go through a series of four stages while falling asleep. We start at stage one and progress through the third and fourth stages. Within about 90 minutes we go into our deepest sleep. It is interesting to note that we don't dream during any of these stages. If you awaken someone during this time, they probably won't remember anything. The only thing they may say is that they were "thinking". Following stage four is "rapid eye movement" (REM" sleep. This is a totally different stage, and it is here that we start dreaming. If you were to watch someone, you would see the eyes darting back and forth. Dreams last for 45 minutes or so, and then we go back to non-REM sleep for about an hour. The pattern goes on throughout the night, and the non-REM stages get lighter. That is what the old saying "an hour before midnight is worth two after" pertains to. It is when we dream that we can have nightmares. These are usually Hollywood style productions in full colour that seem very real at the time. Night terrors, on the other hand, occur in stage four sleep. This is also the stage in which sleepwalking and talking occur. The reason they occur is unknown, and most children grow out of them. They may be worse at times of stress. Although very alarming, and most distressing to the rest of the family, night terrors cause no harm to the child himself. Indeed, if you can possibly bear it, the best tactic is to not wake him. As you have said, after a while, he just goes back to sleep by himself. The same also applies to sleepwalking, when the goal is simply to make sure the child is safe in his wanderings, and. that he cannot fall down the stairs or out of a window. Night terrors usually occur in children from 3 to 6 years of age, but sometimes go a little later. They are not an indication of any problem. You would actually be better to get your own rest during these occurrences, difficult as it sounds.
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Dr. Noel Swanson is a leading expert on child behavior problems. He has a fascinating website with lots of expert parenting advice that is worth visiting. More of his articles can be found here: free articles on parenting Don't reprint the same version as everyone else. Get your own unique content parenting article here.
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